Watch the gentle manifestation of Brad E. Rose’s death anxiety


We were quite taken with last years’s Annular Silhouettes from Tulsa based musician Brad E. Rose. It was a gentle drifting work that felt simultaneously nostalgic and free, that just left you content to float along engulfed by a gorgeous lush warmth. His follow up, I’m Scared of Dying is similarly warm and amorphous, yet infused with deep emotional existential thoughts and fears – which aren’t immediately apparent when you first listen. We often call music gentle, but this music really has the lightest of light touches, and feels like it was constructed with the utmost care. A little like DJ Olive’s Sleep you could easily use this music as a sleep aid, at least we hope so, as it’s the first time we’ve ever drifted off to someone’s death anxiety.

This is what Rose has to say about it:

“Sound is often a mirror and a journal for me. “I’m Scared of Dying” began as a series of smaller vignettes I made late at night when I couldn’t sleep. If I wake up in the middle of the night and don’t get back to sleep immediately, my mind flips on and just starts going. Those small pieces were a way I tried to quiet the barrage, with soft, resonant explorations; the sounds of water and shaded drones. It mostly didn’t work.

I would hear my daughter waking up in her room, coming out at 4 AM to see what I was doing. When I’d go lay in her room to try and help her fall back asleep, my mind would wander. I’d think about what she would do if I wasn’t here. I used to be afraid of getting sick, but not dying. I’m still afraid of getting sick, but I don’t want my favourite people in the world to have to pick up the pieces I leave behind someday. I’m terrified of not being with them. It never used to be this way, but inching toward 50, half my life is probably over. But there’s still so far to go.

“I’m Scared of Dying” puts those pieces together and expands on them, eventually channeling the dark, amorphous horizon into a focused beam of light. Lately, I am feeling better about being afraid.”

I’m Scared Of Dying will be released October 6th 2023 via Room40. You can find it here.


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Bob is the features editor of Cyclic Defrost. He is also evil. You should not trust the opinions of evil people.

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