Cover versions can be amazing, breathing new life into tired old songs. Conversely they can also suck all the life out of older great songs, and that’s what this collection does mercilessly to the poor old Ramones. For a band that were mostly about energy, you almost admire many of the artists collected here in their unremitting ability to give the Ramones a smooth pop makeover. It’s hilarious because it’s so wrong. There’s a lot of humour here, transforming the music into the polar opposite of what the Ramones stood for. It’s just a shame that the music is so terrible. All the hits are here, Beat on the Brat, I Wanna Be Sedated, Sheena is a Punk Rocker, Rockaway Beach, Pet Semetary, Blitzkrieg Bop. If they were transformed into Bossa Nova treats like they’re advertising then that may be interesting, however in the main the tunes are vaguely bossa influenced electro pop ditties with sugary sweet female vocals. David Bowie’s ex wife Angie Bowie pops up, as does a member of Dirty Princess and the former vocalist of the Runways. One or two of these songs would be kind’ve funny but after 12 you realise how terribly bland it is. The only thing that keeps you listening is that you’re singing along, but you hate yourself so much. For some reason my favourite here is I Wanna Be Sedated by Groove Da Pria, perhaps solely because I like the irony of them already sounding sedated. Surely if they got more sedated they’d Od. Perhaps this wouldn’t be a bad thing. Otherwise there’s a kind’ve funky vocodered version of Pet Semetary, which is pretty bad but gets points for the vocoder and then a deep house downbeat version of The KKK Took My Baby Away by the United Rhythms of Brazil. It’s great, it sounds like the music to an advertisement for makeup. The key I think is that this song has very few words besides the chorus, though as you can probably imagine too many words were rarely a problem The Ramones had to suffer with. If you want to listen to terrible music and hate yourself only marginally less than you would normally then this album is for you.
Bob Baker Fish
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